I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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