i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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