You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
