ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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