exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
