I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
