We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
