I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
