Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
