Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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