I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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