remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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