it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
