Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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