normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
