Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
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I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
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I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Damn victory sex feels great
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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