I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
