she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
