I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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