You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
