At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations