I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?