i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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