I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
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oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
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I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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