i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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