Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
