Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
