on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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