She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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