I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
