He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
