dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
