Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!