oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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