let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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