Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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