Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
