Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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