I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize