I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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