drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
