Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Green mimosas i think yes
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
