Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
