If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
