how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Crop dusting thru forever 21
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
