just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
