If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
