my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
