fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
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You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
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It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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