8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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