in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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