So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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