i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
