i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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