you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I smell like Dick and happiness
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