I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
