She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
