The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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