I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
