I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We need to get me chipped asap
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
