she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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