Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
