I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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