Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
