We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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