Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
