I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
